The CWC scored a random Delorean, hoverboard, and a fresh pair of Nikes and drifted off into the future. We had our sights set on the summer of 2012, just to see if the Mayans had it correct. Turns out, Doc Brown’s speedometer is broken, so getting up to 88 mph was quite the chore. Instead, we ended up in Raleigh at 11:00am on Saturday, November 5th, 2011. Here’s what we learned.

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We broke through the space-time continuum and arrived at the Carter-Finley Stadium parking lot, or as we like to call it, “The Farm”, at 11:00 am. It was your usual Saturday tailgate. A lot was being made of the football game about to kick-off in an hour, but there was also a ton of banter around NC State’s 2012 basketball recruiting class. Lots of comments like, “Rodney, Tyler and TJ are going to finally give those cheaters what they deserve” were overheard. Oh right, you weren’t aware that TJ Warren committed to State. Well he does, and remember that you heard it here first. The vast majority of the tailgaters were State fans, but the few Carolina fans we saw were drinking wine and eating cheese, just like Sam Cassell talked about in the mid-90s.

To not look like time travelers, we simply dressed in everyday garb. Jeans and t-shirts in neutral colors. We mixed and mingled with both sets of fans, and found that the State fans really hate Carolina. They somehow feel that wiping the planet clean of any, and all, things Carolina would somehow make them feel much better about life. Meanwhile, the Carolina fans just assume do the same to Duke. But don’t be mistaken, both fan bases were excited about the kick-off. Before heading off to our seats, we took on a set of State fans in cornhole, and after we won handily, we stuck a ’2012 UNC NCAA Basketball Champions’ bumper sticker on the back of Ricky Wayne’s Z71, and jetted off to C-F just in time for kick-off.

State won the toss, and Tom O’Brien, to be referred to as TOBY for the remainder of this article, decided to take the ball first. He was going to show no mercy from the get go. Wouldn’t you know it, State took the kick-off back 101 yards for the score. But, that was the end of the road for the Pack. The fans were literally in dreamland for seven seconds, only to have the Bryn Renner engineer a 78-yard drive in which he handed the ball off to Gio Bernard eight times before Gio ran in untouched to even up the score at 7-7. Renner handed the ball off on every play to avoid throwing an absolutely mind-boggling interception, and John Shoop is about as creative as a blank piece of paper from the offensive coordinator position, so what else did you expect?

The rest of the game wasn’t nearly as exciting as the first five minutes if you were a Wolfpacker. Sean Glennon, even with his tremendously long neck, couldn’t see over the Carolina front four, and was sacked an NCAA record 27 times. He also threw three picks, and that should have been six, but the Carolina secondary showed why they aren’t wide receivers. State’s offense was so bad, Ron Cherry who officiated the game, actually took a point away from the Wolfpack, leaving them with a final score of 6. Cherry can do this because he determined that he was actually giving them the business.

Carolina’s offense ran like a well-oiled machine. Renner through for 300 yards, though 274 of those yards came after the catch. Eric Hightower and Dwight Jones had an absolute field day breaking tackles laughing at Audie Cole as he tripped over his shoe laces six different times. You have to see the catch Jones made in the third quarter, you won’t believe your eyes. Gio Bernard and Ryan Houston also torched State’s defense, combining for over 200 yards rushing, and three scores.

Final score: Carolina 49 – 6 NC State

After the game, we headed back to the Delorean so we could get back home in time to catch The League on FX. Ricky Wayne actually missed the game because he was trying to scrape off the bumper sticker we put on his truck with his fingernails. We felt bad his tickets went to waste, but we actually did him a favor because he didn’t have to see the destruction of his beloved team.

All in all, our travels were very successful. Carolina took State to the cleaners, and you can go ahead and take Carolina minus the points on us. Bet the farm on the Heels, you’ll be glad you did.