We found a mole, and we plan to exploit it.  Until it tunnels all around our yard, at which point we’ll be forced to put chewing gum in its hole.

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For years, we’ve preached that we at Carolina Water Cooler are just like you.  Just normal fans.  No behind the scenes access, no media credentials, and no personal friendships with John Blake.

But this week, that all changed.  We’ve made friends with someone “close to the program,” who has agreed to leak us one tidbit of information per week (approximately).  Of course, if we’re only getting a small piece of truth from this source, we’re going to be left to fill in the blanks on our own.  And that’s where the exciting explanations will come in.

This week, our informant let us know that no one on the basketball team likes Jackson Simmons.  Which leaves us to ponder the source of this dislike.  There are a few possible explanations for this disturbing piece of team chemistry information…

1. Because he’s white.  Obviously, this is the first thing that springs to mind, as most members of the basketball team are…well, not white.  But you never hear rumblings of “the entire team hates Tyler Zeller” or “no one likes ol’ Roy.”  Maybe Zeller is cool enough to fit in with the hip hop community, but Coach Williams is about as white as it gets.  If they like him, they certainly don’t have a problem with white folks.

2. Message board love.  Jackson has gotten a lot of praise on the message boards during the offseason, even being compared (favorably!) to Dennis Rodman.  As much as fans may think this is the case, the basketball team doesn’t actually spend several hours a day perusing the internet to see what people who aren’t any good at basketball think about them…so the fact that Jackson Simmons has a posse and the rest of the team does not probably is not the source of the grudge between the team and Jackson.

3. 1993 National Champion.  Simmons and James McAdoo are the only two players on the squad this year who were born in 1993 – which, as you may be aware, was the year North Carolina won its third NCAA title.  Is it possible that Jackson trumpets this fact around to the entire team and brags that his birth year is better than those born in other years – specifically ’91 and ’92?  It’s possible, but not likely.  Besides, that seems much more like something McAdoo would do.

While all three of these are plausible explanations, we actually did a little more digging on this tidbit.  Team chemistry issues are not something we want to just ignore.  So we researched a little more and learned that the truth is actually quite a bit simpler than the options listed above.  In actuality, Jackson is just a little too big for his britches.  You know, a smidge on the cocky side.  Like the guy from your middle school gym class who claimed to be awesome at basketball and followed up the statement by shooting (and air balling) a 360 jump shot.  Hopefully a taste of ACC hoops will bring him down a peg or two and help smooth everything over with the rest of the guys.  Because if his attitude costs us a 2012 Title, Carolina Water Cooler won’t like Jackson Simmons either.