Black text = What Coach K said after the Carolina-Duke game
Red text = What Coach K wanted to say after the Carolina-Duke game
Well they played a hell of a game. I now make it a point to cuss in the very first sentence of all my press conferences. They’re fast and deep. We’re a bunch of slow, rich white boys. I thought our kids played their hearts out. Played their elbows out too. And I had a chance to watch the play. Go ahead and prepare yourself for the smoke I’m about to blow. We’ll take all responsibility, but if there’s any way Gerald Henderson did that intentionally, it’s crazy. And to say that Greg Paulus isn’t an ACC caliber point guard, why that’s crazy talk too.
He’s moving away from him, he’s going up to block, he’s not even seeing how he hit him. Kinda like I’m not even hearing how I’m talking right now. The officials have to call what they do, and I’m sorry that Tyler got hit. If Gerald’s dad wasn’t already rich, I’d get him a cushy job in the Duke admissions office tomorrow.
That’s not what he wanted to happen. But also the intent was not to do that. Maybe if I speak in these short, nonsensical phrases, everything will be OK? There was nothing extended, and he was hit somewhere on the forearm as G was turning. I’m going to continue to call him “G.” It sounds much cuter and makes him sound much less like the worthless thug that he is. I feel badly for Tyler and we apologize for that, but I know there was no intent to do that. How many times are you people going to let me say this same sentence over and over before you start hurling blunt objects at me???
On suspending Henderson for the next game
I don’t know why they do that. If anything, Tyler should be suspended for repeatedly raping us as a team throughout his college career. Whatever happens happens. And if “whatever” happens to be “G” getting suspended, then I’ll see to it that someone currently working in the ACC office gets fished out of the Hudson River within the next 10 days. I know there was not the intent to do that. Maybe if I keep saying that, I’ll eventually believe it myself. And the game was over before that. Technically the game was over as soon as Brandan Wright chose Carolina over Duke. That’s unfortunate, too, that those people were in the game in that play. That’s right. I said it. Roy is really the one to blame here. Watch and I’ll prove it: Let’s play a quick game of six degrees of Roy Williams. Ok, Roy is the coach at North Carolina. He was tutored by Dean Smith at said University. Dean Smith coached ACC and NBA great James Worthy. While playing for the Lakers, James Worthy once had a pass picked off in the 1984 NBA Finals against the Celtics. And who picked off that pass? None other than Gerald Henderson. Father of current Duke star and all-around swell guy, Gerald Henderson, Jr. That may have actually just been five degrees, I’m not sure. I can’t even see straight I’m talking so crazy right now.
Not logged in